Perfectionism is learned as a child. When a child brings home an assignment he did for school and was graded a particular way and feels proud of it and is met by their parent who responds with "But it's not an _____ grade", the child is shamed and learns that he must earn his parents' acceptance and pride by his external accomplishments that never measure up. Perfectionism is an attempt to measure up to some undefined standard, to gain acceptance and avoid shame, that never works. The child never develops an internal sense of how much is good enough. As a result the child can never enjoy the needed self satisfaction from the parent or themself. In healing our old shame we can become more immune to the dictates of perfectionism and gain self-acceptance.
Peace,
Ken
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