285 - Journaling

Journaling can be useful in the process of healing shame by externalizing feelings. Journaling can also help us clarify, process and let go of these new or old shame feelings.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

284 - Need to feel felt

When we share these difficult shame feelings with a safe other, we need to feel felt by the other. In order for healing to occur we both need to be connected or willing to connect with our own shame feelings. Our most difficult feelings need and always needed acceptance and compassion.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

283 - Shame attacks can feel like a storm

When we get caught in a strong shame attack one thing we can do is think of it as a storm and remember storms always pass. Practice just sitting with it without judging it or fighting it and you will be healing some shame. These feelings need understanding, acceptance and compassion from ourselves or other safe people.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

282 - Shaming thoughts are interferences

It is useful in this healing process to learn to discern the difference between our shame thoughts and our shame feelings which are bodily sensations. Our shaming thoughts come directly from our specific conditioning and these thoughts interfere with the externalization and healing of our shame feelings.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

281 - Emotional abandonment

Our need for relationships with others in which we feel loved and wanted is a very basic human need. One strong source of shame is when a child doesn't experience this kind of relationship but rather one of emotional abandonment. This shame becomes internalized when the child has no way to process or share their shame and have it heard or accepted. No blame. This internalized shame makes relationships as adults very difficult. The process of healing shame will have the effect of improving our relationships.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

280 - Shamelessness is an avoidance mechanism

Do you have someone in your life in whose presence you feel as if you don't measure up? Consider the possibility that your someone was taught as a child to defend themselves against (avoid) their shame feelings by presenting themselves as shameless. It is simply a survival tool some of us learned to use as children. Unfortunately shamelessness tends to trigger shame in others. No blame. Both you and your someone deserves understanding, acceptance and compassion.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net

279 - Shaming self-talk can be stopped

It is well worth the time and energy it takes to develop more awareness of one kind of self-talk that goes on. Self-talk that is critical, judgmental and self-shaming is a barrier to the healing process. The more awareness we have of our shaming self-talk the more choice we will have over stopping it.
Peace,
Ken

http://www.kenlewiscounselor.net